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“It’s just Twitter…”

By on May 20, 2012
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“It’s just Twitter…”

We’ve all heard it and often times we all say it. But do we really mean it?  And if so, how can we after all we’ve seen? And ultimately, after all we do?

So far we’ve seen someone get shot to death and two women get beat to a pulp all because of something they’ve tweeted.  And that’s just from the circle of people I follow. How can we continue to dismiss the reality of this social network?  Granted everyone’s Twitter experiences vary and maybe it isn’t as real for you as it is for others.  But whatever you may think or however you choose to treat it, it doesn’t make it any less real.

Think about this if you will… You spend hours a day talking to people on this social site.  Some of which you know personally and others are strangers that you’ve slowly gotten to know through tweeting.  Have you noticed that without ever meeting some of these people, after following them for an extended period of time, you feel like you actually know them?  And maybe that’s to the extreme because I’ll be the first to say that my tweets are not always a direct reflection of me or maybe they are in some ways.  But I digress.  Anyway, you start to question those people less.  When someone tweets “getting drunk” or “headed to the game”, you don’t instantly think they’re lying, you believe them. Why?  Because somehow through all of the tweeting, you slowly feel like you can put at least a little stock into what it is they tweet.

It’s not rocket science that if you spend hours doing something each day that it becomes a part of you.  You slowly start to develop these relationships with people you don’t even know.  Some you may actually want to meet and others you have no desire to do so, but their 140 characters help your day move a little faster.  The point is, when someone you tweet daily says they have a job interview coming up and you tweet them “good luck” or “I pray you get it”, they’ve low key become a part of your life.  It doesn’t mean you’re actually going to pray for them and it doesn’t mean you’ll do a happy dance if they get the job.  But you can’t ignore the fact that you wanted to or felt inclined to wish them luck.  Some of us actually do follow people we’ve never met and would be a little disappointed if they didn’t get that job they interviewed for.  When people say, “nobody cares”, it’s true.  Nobody cares to the extent in which you want them to.  But there are definitely those who do care, even if it’s enough to wish you luck.

There’s also so much that goes on behind the scenes of your timeline that many of you are too naive or neglectful to ever think about.  Contrary to popular belief, DMs are not all full of thirst.  As I alluded to earlier, you tweet people daily and after a while, who they are as a person may peak your curiosity.  So you decide to DM them and before you know it you’ve been DMing for weeks.  Sometimes numbers are exchanged, other times not.  But people are getting to know each other every day away from the public view of your timeline; which in my opinion is dope.

People, myself included at times, like to give Twitter a bad name and talk down on its existence.  When in reality due to the fact that Twitter is indeed what you make it, it’s actually a fascinating network.  We have never been able to communicate with people all over the world and share so much with them in such short periods of time.  It’s all rapid response much like text messaging.  So it’s no coincidence that the majority of people you speak to daily come via Twitter. Do this for me, look at the last ten people in your phone you’ve texted.  How many of them did you meet via Twitter?  How is Twitter not real life?

When I tweet stuff like, “I’m not fighting over these 140 characters bruh” or “stop taking these tweets personal”, that isn’t my way of saying Twitter isn’t real.  What I’m really saying is “lighten up and take a joke.” I remember @OfficiallyIce tweeting once that Twitter is the one place that you have full control of the people you follow and interact with or something of that nature.  With that being said, why in the hell would you continue to follow someone you don’t like, doesn’t like you, or you don’t like their tweets?  Then proceed to get upset with them and what they tweet?  This is about the dumbest thing a human being can do, in my humble opinion.  Stop being concerned with the masses and their opinion of you and just do what it is you want.

On a more positive note, Twitter is opening doors for many people who are utilizing it for the greater good.  I’m always seeing websites from bloggers, artists, clothing designers, etc.  Through all of the stress and fun and games, they haven’t missed the point.  If Twitter presents an opportunity to make them money, they’re going to make it.  Don’t know about you, but money is real to me.  It may not be what motivates me, but when I go to buy some food and my bank account is overdrafted, I surely wish I had some.  People are profiting off this site while others are posting sexually explicit pictures or of a similar nature.  Those headshots Weavvy took from those power kicks were real.  I’m not saying this to slander Sam at all.  I don’t know her personally but she seems pretty cool.  And I hated to see what happened to her. I’m trying to point out the reality of what this social network really is.  It just plays to the point I’m trying to make.

If Twitter is so fake, then why does it keep breaking your real relationships?  Seriously, when there are relationships ending due to what is on your timeline, talk about ‘Cole World’. Sometimes you can actually see it happening before your very eyes. People have become so wrapped up in Twitter that they completely forget they were once able to hold conversations via text message and away from everyone else.  Or when you see the slander and subtweets fly; people really notice this man.  People are well aware of who you’re dating, though it may not consume their thoughts. However, it’s not as easy to spot out when your relationship has ended.  And it’s even easier to spot when Twitter was the reason your relationship did end.  How can something not real have such an impact on your real life?  At some point y’all have to acknowledge the power of Twitter and stop treating it like it’s some mythical place people come to just talk and crack jokes.

Yes, Twitter is nothing more than a big social site for you to express yourself. It’s totally up to you how you choose to use it.  But to act like it’s not real is just foolish and irresponsible.  That is, unless you’re Skip Bayless and don’t follow or reply to anyone and just tweet your random thoughts and opinions.  But if you interact with people on there on a daily basis, you’ll see it gets real.

My Twitter experience isn’t the same as yours and that’s cool.  I was just trying to shed some light and maybe provoke some thought.  Tell a friend or don’t tell a friend. I’m going to continue to write what I think and someone will continue to read it.

Y’all be cool.

By Cecil Avant : @_Avant_


Girl 2: “That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you! You have to send me a picture of the ring.”

I think we’ve been conditioned by society; the media and our peers, to believe that size does indeed matter when it comes to the engagement ring. In every television show and movie, we see women overreact to the size of the ring when proposed to. In a world where we are always trying to keep up with appearances, from fashion to bandwagon jumping in sports, there seems to be a small part of me that feels the size of the engagement ring absolutely does matter. Although, I may not agree with the premise in which the argument is made, it’s hard to ignore what we see on a daily basis. Unlike the rest of the material things in the world, an engagement/wedding ring is supposed to symbolize something much deeper than its monetary value.

Some men are starting to feel the pressure of providing their girlfriends, fiancés or what have you, with the biggest rock they can possibly afford; even if that means struggling to make payments and how that may affect finances in their marriage.  This is not to say that the pressure solely comes from the woman.  As a man, I know that we are driven by our egos.  Everything we do and do not do, for the most part, stems from how our ego will be affected.  So the idea of our wife being out there with a small rock on her hand is a reflection of us.  We are not going to allow others to look at us as frugal or ill-equipped, so to speak.  Our woman, although unfairly so, is often treated as our property.  When you hear a man say, “She’s mine,” that is his way of claiming his territory.  So when it comes to purchasing the ring, size appears to be just as important to both the man and the woman.  But is that taking away from sanctity and spirit of what they are trying to build?

Should the size of the ring be that important?  Or should it be more about what it represents?  Is it worth purchasing a ring you can’t afford just so you can keep up with appearances?  In order to answer any of these questions, the couple would have to take a closer look at their relationship.  I have been dating for a while now and I have heard women say, “I don’t even want a diamond.”  Others have said, “Do not get me anything you can’t afford because at some point it will affect both of us.”  Point being not every woman cares about the size of engagement ring.  Would most women prefer a nice big diamond? Sure.  Just like we would all prefer to not live paycheck to paycheck.  But we make due and it is not the be all and end all.

If the relationship is built on love, the motivation is to grow together and create a lifetime bond.  Then why would or should the size of the ring really matter? It’s understandable that the presence of a ring be visible to symbolize the partnership.  But at that point you’re acknowledging that you are not single and you have someone in your life that you have decided to share a life with.  Is that not enough?  Does the size of the ring allude to something else other than cost? The voices of those outside of the marriage, who may have problems of their own, shouldn’t dictate how you go about your business.  I have never read a study about how the size of the ring is a determining factor in how happy the marriage is.  Perhaps I missed that one.

The irony in all this talk about the size of the ring is the dowry practice.  In many cultures it is about the wealth that the woman brings to the marriage.  However, here in the United States it isn’t a common practice.  Instead men are paying women to marry.  This is social conformity in one of its purest forms; with the idea that we should just do what everyone else does because it’s the norm.  I get it; nobody wants to be looked at as different.  But perhaps it is those differences that could help reevaluate our relationships and want more.  I am in no way saying dowry should be a common practice, but I am hinting at the idea that this obsession with big diamond engagement rings could be doing more harm than good.

At the end of the day it’s subjective and up to the two parties involved in the engagement and/or marriage.  However, I challenge those of you who put too much stock into the ring to take a deeper look into your relationship.  Ask yourselves how much or if in fact the size of the ring would devalue your relationship.  Once you can answer the question, things may become clearer.  Maybe it won’t, again this entire subject plays to the two individuals involved and may vary from relationship to relationship.[/toggle_item][/toggles]

Persuade Male Blogger: C. Avant