Happily Ever After!!!

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Happily Ever After?!!

Once upon a time when I was a little girl, I remember my mother reading me fairytales about kings, queens, princes, and princesses. And as a child, I remember awaiting that that one moment, like other little girls, where all of the fuss and fury, drama and spectacle would finally come together and make sense. It was a moment where a broken heart could mend, loneliness would finally end, and a time where any and all possibility of harm was no longer relevant and would no longer exist. It was a time where all things right could be summed up in one sentence, and one sentence alone…. “and they lived happily ever after” .  And like those other little girls, I learned to await that very moment where my own knight in shining armor would eventually find me and whisk me away into the sunset where we could find our own happy ever after. After all, who is a princess without her prince?

But growing up, I’ve come to realize that kissing every frog doesn’t turn them into your Prince Charming and sometimes, things really just don’t make sense. That doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong… it just means that it is what it is. Sometimes a frog is just that… a frog… no more, no less. Unfortunately, however, it has also become apparent to me that many of us still hold on to that notion of ‘happily ever after’, ultimately relying on the fantasy and that ever-so-common fairytale ending to make us feel complete. And sadly; for many, the simple truth is… there is no happiness without a ‘happily ever after’.

Now,  I’m not saying that having a ‘happy ever after’ is not possible, but I am saying that searching for happy ever after should not cause you to settle, nor should it make you feel like happiness isn’t possible without a Prince Charming. As kids, many of us women are taught from a young age that in order to have our own chance at ‘happily ever after’, we must first be found by our knight in shining armor who comes along, suddenly saves the day, and takes us away from all that hurts us while giving us all that we ever wanted or could ask for. The problem lies in the fact that this simple notion often leaves many of us feeling incomplete when we realize that the man we were willing to give it all to is not the man who we have dreamed of for so long to be our heart’s refuge. As good as it sounds, grasping for that fairytale ending often causes many of us to put up with more than just a little bit of nonsense in attempt to create that moment where love overcomes all and we too can finally say that it was all worth it. But ask yourself… is it?

Over the years I’ve grown to understand that with all of life’s hidden references that may actually hold true within the fantasy of a fairytale, the truth does not lie in the happily ever after of love with your Prince Charming… but rather, in finding the love of self and knowing that your happiness is determined by the tale that you write for yourself. True happiness does not rely on finding a man who will respect you as his princess and commit to making you his queen. True happiness comes from knowing that you are already a queen and that you deserve to be treated as one. For some, that may ultimately mean learning how to be by yourself, understanding that being alone does not mean that you’re lonely or unworthy, and accepting the simple fact that being single is okay. After all, in coming to this realization, you may find out that riding away into the sunset on a white horse with your Prince Charming is not really what you want. But it’s important to know who you are as an individual in order to determine what’s best for you and truly be able to determine what you want, what you need, and what is required for you to be happy in a relationship. It may mean taking some time to actually be alone so you’re able to figure out who you are rather than who you are trying to be in attempt to live out the fairytale.

In the end, you may come to the conclusion that riding away into the sunset on your own horse is even more fulfilling than any fantasy. It doesn’t mean that your Prince Charming can’t be riding alongside of you. It just means that your journey to Happy Ever After is not reliant upon his presence because you already know your way. Be the designer of your own destiny and create your own path that leads to happily ever after. Not everyone is worthy of your journey and not every prince will be the gateway to your happiness. Know the difference and create your own truth! Your story depends on it!!!

Alicia Brathwaite

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