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Interview w/ Author D. Scott “Stay in your lane”
If you ask a man if he’d prefer a son or a daughter, usually the answer would be a son. This isn’t because of any less love for a baby girl, but because of fear. Fear that her heart will be broken and he will have to “break” the person that broke it. Trying to understand the choices that women make in certain men can be confusing to the people around her. If you ask the question of why women want that man who treats them not at all how they want to be treated, the answer usually reflects that you can’t help who you fall in love with. This is true, but the actions that take place after you’ve been down the same path before, should be influenced by previous relations and experiences. To make it simple…red flags should be going up when the new guy is waving them in her face and these warning signs are seen by everyone except the person who refuses to acknowledge them. Men sure can’t figure this out, so the answer to the question would you prefer a boy or a girl is usually answered with, “If I have a daughter she is never dating or I may have to kill someone”.
Even a smart, confident woman with her agenda and criteria for the type of man she wants can make decisions that are against all she believes. While caught up in an emotional roller coaster, that same super woman can ignore her own advice that she would give her friends and family and stay involved with the “WRONG” guy. There’s no real explanation why except, “You can’t help who you fall in love with”. Author D. Scott is trying to dive more into the reasoning behind the decisions that some women make in her new book.
I was able to spend some time with her to find out the message she is trying to convey in her writings and what she hopes to accomplish.
PERSUADE: Hello D. Scott. How are you?
D.SCOTT: I’m fabulous. Thank you.
PERSUADE: What prompted you to write a book? Why this particular topic?
D.SCOTT: I’ve been writing since I was about 8 years old. Started out with poetry then turned into long stories. I wrote this book over the years because it started out as my journals. In the African American and Latino community, mental health and therapy is frowned upon…so I took pen to paper and told my journals. The book evolved after several years, subsequent failed relationships with men, a divorce, and the birth of my son. In order for me to use this psych background that I have, I went backwards to be able to have peace and move forward.
PERSUADE: Many women have a vision in their minds of the kind of man they want and how they want to be treated by that man? Why is it that some women seem to choose men who don’t fit the criteria that they claim they want?
D.SCOTT: We do it because we don’t want to sit still. We do it because we are bored. We do it because on some level we think we can turn Twan up the block into the man of our dreams and we will fail every time.
PERSUADE: Are there red flags that women ignore? Have you ignored any?
D.SCOTT: Absolutely there are red flags. We ignore them because we think we are smarter than the universe and greater than Jesus. I ignore signs all the time. I am a researcher on paper and I want to know WHY you don’t want me, or WHY it didn’t work out or WHY you are a mess. I feel like when I look back on all my relationships, they’ve all taught me something. Even as a child I only needed to get burned by the stove once and I don’t make the same mistakes twice …generally. I will ignore the signs again but they won’t be the same signs.
PERSUADE: What’s the name of your book and how long did it take for you to complete it?
D.SCOTT: The book is called Stay in Your Lane. It took me most of my adult life to complete it. However, these last two years is when I started piecing together the puzzle of my journals.
PERSUADE: What should women, and also men, gain from reading this?
D.SCOTT: What I want women to know is that a man can cheat on you, beat on you, hurt you to the core. It does NOT make him a bad man…it makes him abusive. It means you had a choice and you chose him so stop blaming your heartbreaks solely on the man. For men, I want them to know women like me exist. However, there is good as well as bad in that. I am the woman that will call you on your raggedness and then pack your lunch for work. I am the woman that will not allow you to treat me any kind of way. If I can’t be the queen bee, I simply will not be. Women can learn from that as well and stop playing themselves out of position.
PERSUADE: What do you mean “…women playing themselves out of position”?
D.SCOTT: It is rare that a hoe gets upgraded, unless side chick and jump off are out of line and the hoe will then assume the available position. If a man were to ask me to be one of the latter or as they call it “cutty buddy”, I would decline. I don’t operate under anything less than a certain standard; my position is by my man’s side not always underneath his side. I start any man at 100; if you start showing your side-effects, you get demoted. If a man is telling you all you have to offer is sex and you agree to it you will never take your rightful place on the throne…unless there are a series of defaults. When you agree and operate in foolishness you have played yourself out of position.
PERSUADE: When can we expect it to hit book shelves or should I say, available for download for my kindle?
D.SCOTT: My book is self published and due out in November. I have YouTube and social cam so you can always check for readings and my hysteria on there until the book is out. It’s under Dee Scott.
PERSUADE: I enjoyed the talk and will definitely be on the look-out for your book! Is there anything you’d like to say before we wrap up?
D.SCOTT: I’d like to say that in this life, LOVE is a popular thing to be in. People don’t understand that on the other side of that coin is hate. It doesn’t have to be consuming, nor violent but it does exist. I chose to write about reality and how love and hate coexist in my world. I hope you guys read it and take away from it the fact that it’s not a game out here. However, if we are to be in the game… play it right and STAY IN YOUR LANE.
PERSUADE: Thank you D. Scott for allowing Persuade this time, it’s been a pleasure!