Top 5 Reasons Why Black Women End up Not Getting Married
Single, beautiful, available, uh, maybe not, but most black women are not married. According to a recent study, black women have the highest chance of remaining unmarried, compared to white women. The study also said there are 42% of black women who are currently unmarried, compared to 21% of white women. What gives in a man not wanting to marry one of the most beautiful treasures on Earth? There could be a number of reasons, but the media actually plays a huge part, as well as psychology of the black experience.
1. THE MEDIA- what do you mean, the media plays a part in most black women not being married? First, let’s look at how black women are subliminally portrayed on television shows, music videos, the news, commercials and in movies. When it comes to television, most black women do not take any crap from other black people that they are around and people of other cultures. Most of the time, a black woman is given a part on a reality television shower sitcom, where she is indirectly being taken advantage of. We, the viewers see the end result and interpret it as the black woman being bitter, and/or angry. Don’t get me wrong, in today’s society, most people will do anything for a dollar and it has nothing to do with race or gender. Most of the time, black women are portrayed as being angry. Sometimes a black woman may be angry, after all, for years, she has watched the United States and the world take her for granted and has still had to bear children, often times in a single family unit.
2. SETTLING FOR LESS – A woman of any race can get married, as long as she finds the right person. However, many black women have the tendency to settle for less. Instead of setting positive goals for finding a suitable husband or partner, women often look for the wrong traits in a man (how he looks, how much money it looks like he has—most of the time he is broke, or ends up broke because he was borrowing that boss money the whole time). A black woman may not take out the time to ask if he would make a good father, is he going to leave me as soon as I get pregnant, does he have other children? (and if so is he a good father to them?) A lot of times a black woman will stick with the first man who shows her attention and he may be no good for her, but he may stick around and not ask to marry her right away and most frequently not marry her at all.
3. HEARTBREAK HOTEL- Let’s face it once any woman gets her heart broken, she is not going to want to be in a serious and committed relationship. Most of time when women are hurt or done wrong time and time and again by men, they do not want to marry them. This may lead to any woman, wandered to a same sex relationship, or just dating around. Once a black woman has been hurt, she takes on the same role that many other women do in 2011, the role of either being celibate (which is extremely hard) or just “doing her” dating whoever, whenever, (condoms hopefully of course).
4. STICKING WITH THE BABY’S FATHER OR SOMEONE ELSE`S BABY`S FATHER — This one is so real. I have a lot of friends who have dated someone who is a father to many kids. I say, run for the HILLS! Do not turn back either! Many times, once a man is the father of more than four kids and he is over 30,the chances of him getting married to you or any woman is like the chances of you hitting the Power ball jackpot twice in a week. With God though, anything is possible, but I’m telling you right now, there’s a whole lot of people who need Jesus. (Including myself). Being in a relationship with your baby’s father after having baby #1, #2 and #3 with him and still no ring is just plain crazy and a waist of time. He does not want to get married and will stall as long as he can 141,000,400 Miller lites cans later into the future. Having a baby with anyone who after one year or two hasn’t mentioned marriage, avoids the topic, or asks to change the subject means that they aren’t ready and they don’t wants to marry you yet. (or at all, better ask to be on the safe side).
5. A LOT OF BLACK MEN HAVE THEIR HEART SET ON MARRYING A WOMAN OUTSIDE OF THEIR RACE- YES, I said it. There is NOTHING wrong with interracial dating or marrying of anyone. However, when you blatantly disrespect the women in your own culture by calling them out of their names, having multiple children by them, raping them, abusing them and then moving on to a woman of a different culture and treating her like a queen, this can only mean one thing, you are a black man who does not get along with black women and you resent black women, so you need to be with someone else. Hopefully, you don’t abuse them though. No one wants to talk about this, but an old guy friend of mine told me that once you make money in the millions it is in to have a really, really light skinned wife (Tiny’s complexion) or a white woman to bring around all of your rich friends because the misconception is that you won`t be accepted unless you do. This is soooooo not true, but people do it anyway. Another thing is there are people who have a goal of trying to get their child to look like they are mixed, but um, (ahem) with so many races blended a child with a white parent and black could come out O. J. Simpson`s complexion. Then, there are black men who do not like themselves and the media tells them, being black of all shade is ugly. They think that if they marry a woman outside of their race and have children by them, that society who may shun them based on race, will accept them. Television is so sneaky about doing this. Many times, there will be a commercial for shampoo with women and men and they will represent one race,once texture of hair, one eye color, but this can’t be accurate because by2050, more than half of the world will be mixed or a considered a person of color (from African descent or another).
Persuade Magazine (Persuade Tips Section)